Well , one week almost pass. Nothing really special happened in this one week. Got all my exam marks already. Very teruk a. =/ This is the worst exam ever~! Okay~ dun wan to talk about my bad results anymore a~! XD Let's talk about me and him. Lol. Sms him with him every night lor. His message melted my heart. They are so so so soooo sweet~~! He these day keep calling me leng lui , dunno why. XD Let's talk about today. Today dewan terbuka is occupied by chairs for tomorrow Hari Anugerah Cemerlang. So , nilam is held at class. Each of us got our own class to look after. Prefects and librarians also need to duty. He duty at 1 Bakti. (her class) As soon as i heard that he duty 1 Bakti , my feelings very no mood already. =( So , Feng Qing and me go see lor. He really duty at 1 Bakti leh~! So , Feng Qing planned to jaga 1 Bakti and i jaga 1 Pintar. Then , bla~ bla~ bla~ a new probate came , and Wai Wai say he duty with me. So , my probate lor. So , he jaga 1 Bakti that time i was in the class to teach the boy about prefect things lor. As soon as Nilam finished already , we all went back class and continue study. P/s : It's either he's lying , she's lying or somebody is pretending to be her. P/s 2 : Why sometimes i have this thought of you and her are togetherand you're not loyal to me anymore. Like you 'one leg take two ships'. =(

Back to school.

Today , back to school lor~

Very happy , because can see him. XD

But also very lazy. haha~

Homework haven't finish all.

But today's subject punya homework sudah finish~! >.^

Well , i hope everything will go well.

Haiz~

Today is me and him geh 4th month anniversarry~!

But today ain't a happy day for me .. YET.

I dunno why.

Now my heart very de "lap lap luin" ar~

I know i'm a very emo girl.

Can be happy at this moment , but sad at the next minute.

Am i weirdo? I dunno.

Yesterday , he manage to make me happy by saying all those sweet sweet things to me.

He told me all those things , i believe it's true and it melted my heart.

That's why yesterday , he end my day with a smile on my face.

But today , my sorrows came back and the smile on my face dissapeared.

I really wish that he can spend more time with me so that we can know each other more well.

I think i don't know you well enough.

I think that's the reason why i don't really trust you.

Many people told me that you can be trusted and you won't lie to me.

To them , you can be trusted. but to me , are you?

I really dunno. I'm still searching for the answer.

Now chatting with him.

me , him

You know what day is today ar?

er.. i dunno wor.. what day is today? Can tell me?

Ok lar. I ask you lar. When we start our relationship wan?

er.. i remember is on the second last day of school.

Yes. It's on the second last day of school. But what date is on that day?

er.. i kinda forgotten. Can tell me ar?

I really don't mind if he don't know today is our 4th month anniversarry.

But if he dunno when our relationship started , i'm not afraid to say that i mind.

I'm not angry at him or anything. It's just that i'm a bit dissapointed. =(

I have a feeling that our relationship is getting worse.

I want our relationship to be better~!

I want our relationship to always be strong so that nobody could ever separate us.

But i dun have this encouragement. =(

___________________________

My mum this morning approximately at 5 am left the house and went to Sabah , to work.

lol. She will be back on the 27th.

and on that day is my cousin wedding.

She told me that this time , her customer is fussy.

so , she have this feeling that is telling her that she can't make it to the wedding.

but i really really really hope that she can make it.

Please~! Hope that my mum can make it to my cousin wedding. =)

P/s : No matter what happens , i'll always love you. You are my only boyfriend and i'll love you as much as you love me. ♥

Just now i chat with my dear.

Now i so happy liao~

He really can make me happy by he not knowing it. =D

me , him

I ask you lar,

what if a boy confess to me, what will you do?

Er.. it's your choice of choosing which boy.

If you want to go his side, i cannot force you.

Weih~ you just let go of me like this ar?

I cannot force LOVE wan if you don't like me, that's why i know you love me so i won't let go of you. I'll always hug you and protect you and wanna be with you forever and ever.

Owh~~ it's so sweet~ i really love him.

and before he offline, he say something. and i know it's true.

i really love you alot until i cannot explain it.

I LOVE YOU.

Dear, i also love you~! I know you know wan. So, i just want to say that you are the only one that i love and miss right now. and not only right now. i'll always be. ^^

I keep asking myself this few questions.

Example like, am i treating you good?

Am i treating you the way i'm suppose to treat you?

What do you really don't like about me?

eventhough you told me that you love me the way i am.

Why am i so stupid? Why i say myself stupid?

because when i cannot feel your love, i'll start to think negative things.

Such as, do you really meant what you say?

Do you really love me alot like you told me?

Will you break up with me someday? *scared feeling*

See~! I'm really stupid! Asking myself this stupid questions!

I told you that i trust you. I really am.

but why do this questions keep stuck in my mind?

Why do i still finding the answers for these questions?

I also found out that whenever i cannot feel your love,

it's like my trust for you have gone.

and i'll feel that i'm lonely.

That i'm ... NOT ME.

I really felt like want to cry. but i just couldn't, dunno why. ='(

me , him Dear, you sad ar? Your msn. Yes. Feel like want to cry? Yes. Cry lar. You will feel much better wan. Cry out so that you can release your stress. Ok. Thank you dear. I Love You.

I really am happy after that. He care for me. I can feel it.

When i online this morning, i saw his msn personal message. "let your emotion out by crying..it lets go of everything and you will feel better.."

Is the personal message meant for me? I really dunno. but now the only thing i hope that our relationship will get better. school faster start lar~~ so i can see him ar~~ very de miss him. =D

I smile doesn't mean i'm happy.

I smile because i don't want to let you know that i'm crying in the inside.

I smile so that i can keep my sorrows from you.

Whenever seeing us like this, my tears will automatically keep rolling down.

It's so suffering with our relationship like this. ='(

I told everyone "Cheh~! Without him as a friend, so?".

But in the inside i really hope our friendship will mend back.

When i cannot feel your love,

i'll start to think of negative things.

Maybe you just don't know that even a simple little thing,

can upset me. =(

45 things a girl wants but wont ask for. ♥

45 things a girl wants but wont ask for : 1. Touch her waist. 2. Actually talk to her. 3. Share secrets with her. 4. Give her 1 of your sweat shirts. 5. Kiss her slowly. 6. Hug her. 7. Hold her. 8. Laugh with her. 9. Invite her somewhere. 10. Hangout with her and your friends together. And don't ignore her. 11. Smile with her. 12. Take pictures with her. 13. Pull her onto your lap. 14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back. 15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved. 16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her. 17. Kiss her unexpectedly. 18. Hug her from behind around the waist. 19. Tell her she's beautiful. 20. Tell her the way you feel about her. 21. Open doors for her, walk her to the car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman. 22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it. 23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her. 24. Make her feel loved. 25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know. 26. DON'T lie to her!! 27. DON'T cheat on her!!! 28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants. 29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school} and how much you MISS her. 30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you. 31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too. 32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her. 33. Kiss her on the CHEEK. (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her) 34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY. 35. Don't EVER tell her to leave even joking or act like you're mad. 36. When people DIS her, stand up for her. 37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her. (ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT) 38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle. 39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND. 40. When you hug her, HOLD her in your arms as long as possible(MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHE'S LOVED) 41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS. 42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears. 43. Take her for LONG walks at night. 44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her. 45. If you break up but still like her, don't act like a jerk. Be a man and do something about it. P/s : Nicholas, see this ar~! XD I found this is in MSN wan. =D

Horoscopes ♥

VIRGO (The One that Waits) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. SCORPIO (The Addict) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Very Sexy. Loves to joke. Good sense of humour. Energetic. Predict future. Great kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. LIBRA (The Lame One) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet. However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying. ARIES (The Liar) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. AQUARIUS (Does It In The Water) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. GEMINI (Irresistible) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good in the you know where ... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY forgiving. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. LEO (The Lion) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. CANCER (The Cutie) MOST AMAZING kisser. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. PISCES (The Partner for Life) Caring and kind. Smart. Centre of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but In a good way. Good Sense of Humour. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. CAPRICORN (The Passionate Lover) - Me. :D Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. TAURUS (The Tramp) Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! SAGITTARIUS (The Promiscuous One) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where... Not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying.

By2 - 不够成熟

我想我还是不够成熟 还达不到 你的要求 我真的没有想的太多 只是怀念 你走以后 离开 难道真的是解脱 难道 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手 我想我还是不够成熟 还达不到 你的要求 我真的没有想的太多 只是怀念 你走以后 离开难道真的是解脱 难道 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手 如果有一天 我们有缘在见 你会不会想起 说过的永远 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流 倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有 真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手

These days love to hear this song, dunno why. Does this song resemblance something? XD

Out to Alice in Wonderland.

Yesterday night, me, my sister, my mum and my maid went out to Leisure Mall to watch Alice in Wonderland. At first, me, my sister and my mum go only but then, in the house later only got my maid and furthermore she have nothing else to do so we plan to bring her out also. We left approximately at 8.45 pm. The show start at 9.45 pm.

We arrived Leisure Mall at 9.00 pm. So, parked the car and went up to take the ticket as my mother has already booked the ticket online few days ago.

*actually i'm taking a picture of myself but my sister simply go and 'spoiled' my picture. XD* *Jing Wei , Jing Yee*

*my sis leng than me*

After we took the tickets, there's still time so my mum want to shop and she end up buying two pairs of high heel shoes.

*which shoe more leng leh? XD*

*my maid. Her name's Van* But she's not enough yet because those two high heel shoes is only for dinner. She haven't bought another shoe for work. but no time left already because the show almost want to start already. Before that, we bought popcorn and a light coke for me. We went into the cinema and after a few minutes, Alice in Wonderland start. But then, my phone vibrates. it's a message from Nicholas. *smile on my face* Then, Wei Chean also sms me. but then i was enjoying the show so much i never see the messages they send after that. XD

*Alice in Wonderland*

The shows quite nice. It's funny and adventurous. I enjoyed watching the show. but i wish that Nicholas is watching the show with me. Sitting next to me is a couple. They're soo sweet. But Nicholas told me that we'll have our chance. =D

After the show has finished, we went to the toilet. I make my hair while the others go toilet lor. XD *my sis behind there making noise. She's so energetic*

Went back home and still sms-ing with Wei Chean and Nicholas. sms until er.. forgot what time already. That's all for today. It's the end of the day. =)

Wish every seconds belongs to us.

Yesterday night i couldn't sleep, dunno why. At the same time, i'm sms-ing with my dear. =D

me , Nicholas .

I wish you now are here with me.

Why you wish i now with you geh?

Because now i very lonely and no one accompany me. Only you can.

Oh~ i wish we got something to talk about.

Er.. computer leh?

Computer? What about computer o?

Internet lor.

What about internet? Oh ya. Want to play quiz ma?

Play what qiuz?

I'll ask you questions about me. Then, you'll have to answer lor. About 5 questions. Then, later i check the answer and see correct or not. After that, it's your turn. Ok?

Ok. You ask first.

1. What type of food do i like to eat? 2. How many sister/brother do i have? 3. What colour do i like? 4. What type of songs do i like? 5. How many kai jie(s) i've got?

Wa wa wa.. i dunno wor.. but i know it's pink colour, right? 6 kai jie.. er other not sure.. one sister.. can tell me?

Hahahaha~~! I give you the answers lar. 1. Italian, Chinese food. 2. One sister. 3. Blue and purple. 4. Slow/love songs. 5. 6 kai jie(s). So, only 2/5 correct. XD Ok, now your turn.

1. What is my favourite colour? 2. Where was i born? 3. What shows i like to watch the most? 4. What is my favourite food? 5. What type of girl i like?

1. I dunno o. Let me guess. Green? Blue? XD 2. Canada. 3. I really dunno this wan. 4. Favourite food? Die lor~~ i dunno this leh. XD 5. Good girl lor. hehe~

Green is correct.. Western food. Canada. I like to watch history the most and what you are is what i like.

What i am is what you like? Example? I'm interested to know leh. XD

What you are is what i like lor. Think what do you have.

Me ar? Hmm.. i not leng geh. I not very friendly lor. I very tak baik hati wan. I everything also not good wan. XDD

All the negative sentences change to positive de.

Oh. Ok. I leng geh. Friendly wan. Kind-hearted lor. Everything also good wan. Yer~~ where got?? XDD

Got. I love you the way you are.

You love me the way i am. True or not wan?

True. I really love you the way are de.

Oh~ okok. Oh ya. I want to know hor.. when you start to like me that time, why you like me? Can tell me the story ar? What you did?

Well, i like you about july last year. i love you coz you look beautiful, adorable and kind lor.

Oh~ i still remember that got someone tell me that you like me, but i dun care lor. Then, got people say you took my hp no this and that. Then, got one day you sms me and say "Dun believe what they say! They are lying!" You still remember ma?

Ya lar. Then, i later told you i love you and after a while you accept me ma. Of course i remember that. It's how we all started.

Think back our moments, really funny leh~! We dun even know each other that time. Then, we start to sms each other. That time we like sharing secret.You ask me opinion, i talked about TJK. I told you i'm letting go of him then you only want to confess to me ar?

Yeah. It's true. I found out my chance so i gotta take it and tell you lor. or it will not be now lor.

Haha~ i still remember that time i online wan. Then, suddenly you sms me and say you love me. I so shocked leh. After i read the msg, Chee Hung called me and ask "Nicholas confess to you already ar?" She keep saying your good things to me and ask me to think about accepting you.

Har? She did? Example?

She said you good boy wan lar. You will only love me lor.

Oh yeah. i really love you a lot. for real. i won't let any girl like ___ ___ effect our relationship de. Don't worry.

Talking back our moments really makes me feel so happy~! It's sooo sweet~~! Before this, i cannot feel your love but now, i everyday also can feel. Since that 'incident' happen, almost everyday you'll sms me and trying to find a topic to talk about. I know because i can feel it. =DD

I Love You, dear.

Finally i'm back~~

Finally~! Exams over, school hoildays at the moment. Back to blogging lor~~ XD But teacher just can't let go of us. I want to relax wan this holidays, but teacher give so many homework~! So, i plan already wan. Today and tomorrow, relax first. (suang o) Then, monday only do homework lor. =D One week holiday o. I'll miss him sooooo much! Not will a. Now also missing him already. XD Got what plans during this holiday? I'm not going anywhere, as usual. The grown ups need to go work, we kids de of course stay at home lar. Lol. Tonight i got plan. Go watch Alice in Wonderland in the cinema jer ma. XD

Wait for me ya.

Hellooo you guys, i know my blog's quite dead. but i'll make it more 'fascinating' as soon as my examination ends. Today is my first day exam so, wish me good luck ya. XD P/s : does she know i'm your girlfriend?? P/s 2 : if you want the book, come and ask yourself larh. It's hard meh?? I really hate you! You're hurting me so badly!! ='(

Two sad things i have to overcome during examination time. Haiz~

There's a motto for me now, which is,

Be Happy, Smile Always. =D

Will the other half come between our whole??

Well, as the title had said "Will the other half come between our whole??". Let me explain it more details if you don't understand. It's like that want. He told me that when he duty nilam that time, there's a girl keep staring at him, but when he look at her, she turn away. Then, the girl ask for his handphone number. and he gave her! *i start to suspect something* i feel so sad after he told me this. I don't know why. =( Then, whenever i saw her, i feel so sad. So, maybe you can imagine how many times i've been sad of. Duty saw her. St. John training also saw her. Haiz~ I still remember, that last Thursday, he's playing badminton with his friends. Then, i saw she was playing badminton with her friends also. Just next to his court. I cannot say i'm jealous, but there's this feeling in my heart, i don't know how to describe it. It's related to sadness. So, this few days i don't really think about it much until yesterday, Cigie told me something that spoiled my mood. She said that he told her that she got sms him. *in my heart, slowly hurting* In her sms, it said that she wants his full name, address and hobby. (i think that's all) and Cigie told him that maybe she likes him. because you see, she keep staring at him, want his handphone number and now, want his details. (that's what Cigie said) Haiz~ i also don't know what to do. Exam starts today. I don't want to think to much about this first. Let me done my whole week exam first. If there's really is something else coming in my way, i'll just face it. Haiz~ =(

Me and you = no more.

Our special ___ ______ and special ____ ______ relationship broke already ar?? I really want to know. You don't want to talk to me. You don't even want to be my friend anymore. Just because you said that you don't want to see me sad again just because of you? I already told you that i sad it's not because of you! It's because of Nicholas angry at me, so i scared he will break up with me. That's what i scared of that time! That's why i'm sad and i cried. But it's really not because of you! This have nothing to do with you about my sadness that day! After i saw your sms, i'm really extremely hurt, do you know that??! Since then on, everytime i saw you, heard your name or anything that is related to you, my heart will start to hurt and starting to like breaking into small pieces! It's very suffering!! There's one day, after Saturday training, you gave back a gift that i bought for you when i went to Thailand. It's soooo hurt!! You ask Xue Yinn to give it back to me. At first, i really don't want to take it, i don't know why. So, after i took it, i quickly put it in my bag. And there's the feeling again. It's so hurting until i want to cry, but i try my best to don't cry. and i manage to do that. But in my heart, it hurts like i'm in hell!! It hurts soooooooo much!! until i couldn't say how much. Me n Nicholas relationship mend back together already. But how about us?? I can feel that you're avoiding me. We are both prefects! More worse, we have the same post! How could we be unity in a time like this! See our situation! You don't talk to me, i don't talk to you. We don't even look at each other. How can we duty?? That's why this two weeks, i've never did late comers. Feng Qing did it for me. (Thanks, Feng Qing. Ily.♥) How are we going to do late comers together. This is our job,right?? I really don't want to let senior know about our situation right now. Everytime when i saw you, or heard your name or whatever is related to you, i'll feel angry and hurt at the same time. I'll feel like want to slap or even punch you!! but i know i couldn't do it. I also don't know why. Some of my friends, they want to help by talking to you, to friend back me. But you just don't want to listen!

WHEREVER I AM, HE WILL NOT BE THERE.

EVEN IF HE DO, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S FORCE TO.

AND HE WILL NOT TALK TO ME(100%).

i really hope there will be something to cure this. =(