Moment of weakness when you say YES. ♥

Wish i had this kit, to make me feel better after we're over. Told myself that all of these is ain't true, but don't know why, it seems that i still believe we're meant to be. Aarghh~ it's time to let go of you! Why can't i just let you go, forget everything and just move on, without YOU! Do you still remember these words? You've told me on phone, when we were still ... together. Those words melted my heart, and i believed it. Guess now you won't think the same way already. Maybe now.. you think me as erm.. your WORST thing that has ever been yours? Maybe you even wish that you've never fall for me at the first place, aren't you? Or you wish that all of these never started AT ALL. So, pictures kinda did the talking already. And whoa, now the time is already 4.55 am! Better off to bed NOW, before everybody else woke up. Here's me signing off, going to bed! Nitey nite everybody! I mean i should say "Good Morning everybody!" :D Tonight, i'll sleep with you in my heart! ♥

Annual Dinner 2010. (:

Hey guys! Sorry for abandoning my blog.. AGAIN! Now i'm back with my latest updates. On the 18th, attended St. John's Annual Dinner. Been preparing for the performance for like, 1 month? And now, it's time to SHINE! *LMAO! Feeling kinda excited the day before and told myself to sleep early that night, and guess what, i failed to do so. Thanks to internet, i just can't get my eyes off the laptop screen and go to bed. Forgot what time i went to bed that night, but it was freaking late! Kay, back to the topic! Next day, woke up freaking early! And i mean freaking early, because need to finish off some performance thing and make sure everything and everybody is ready. And of course, online while i deal with everything. Thank god we have internet! HAHAHA. And i can't help myself to playing games and i kinda played till it's over-time. When i look at the clock and i knew i only have half an hour to prepare myself, i was like "wth!", and so, i rushed. Bath, then get dressed, T-shirt and jeans, as me and Cigie planned to change when we arrive the hotel. And i curled my hair that day. It wasn't really curled though, because i wasn't really used to it yet, same goes to my mum. But my hair ended up, half wavy, half curled, so it's acceptable. Left the house, late. And such bad luck i have, my mum's car is having some technical problem so hurriedly called my uncle who lived near to the hotel, to drove me there. That was a relieve! Then, another bad luck came, TRAFFIC JAM! D: I freaking hate traffic jam, especially when i'm rushing to go somewhere. And arrived there 5 minutes before the clock strucks 5 pm. Rushed inside the toilet with Cigie to get dressed and make-up. Finish everything in the washroom that i've changed there, i'm scared to go out, as i'm scared that i'll look horrible in the dress. And guess what, with a bit of make-up, i have to accept the fact, i still look hideous. *urgh, i look not ok. *grin* The dress bought at Pavilion's Parkson, last minute shopping. This picture was taken, when we all were completely ready, except Jie Yin was putting her lens on. See, even Cigie and Suet Yee look way better than me. I also don't know why Cigie say i look much more better than her. Guess that's US! ;D Then went out to the lobby, met the boys, all dress like malays on "Hari Raya". Green shirts with black pants, tied around the neck is a silver tie. Urgh, can imagine that? Anyways, waited at lobby for Chun Kit, as he was late for like, 1 hour? And.. cam-whore time! *for no apparent reason, i look FAT in here! D: And then, Chun Kit arrived, went up to register but then, we're asked to stay outside for some reasons. So, we discuss bout the performance. And after half an hour perhaps, we went into the ballroom, Form 1 were all there already. Got our seats and chit-chat, CAM-WHORE, again! :D Then, the night started with arrival of our ex-seniors, speech and dinner, buffet. The food there was delicious, especially dessert! But i didn't ate that much though, due to my mood and appetite wasn't that good. The food was wasted as i took it and can't finish all. And for no reason, Chun Kit went really high that day, we don't even know why. He kept on making jokes, playing with the stuffs there and laughed really loud, till others can hear. *just this little, filled up my stomach and yet, i can't finish them. And.. the time finally came! It's showtime! First was a video clip with pictures by Form 3, then started with Form 1 sing and dance performance. And next, was us Form 2. Ohh man, my heart thumping so fast! Acted quite well, i guess. The show went .. good, as planned. Few mistakes, but.. i guess it was ok. There's applause. :) Then, there's performance from Form 3, videos, dance and sing, piano played, Form 4 performance. There's a lot! Enjoyed watching them. But it ended up thinking bout YOU as there's 'break up scenes'. Kay, then changed to our T-shirts and jeans as we're gonna play games. It's FUN TIME! :D *i know i'm SHORT! I dun need to be informed! D: *see, even concealer can't totally cover up my dark circles. *grin* Played station games and luckily, same group with Suet Yee. After finish playing station games, by that time, Cigie and Suet Yee went back home. Left me with Jie Yin and Xue Yinn. Then the St. John's traditional game, like a stick made of papers in layers, then hit each other. It's really pain if you get hit! D: And by that time, Jie Yin and Xue Yinn went back already, left me alone with the boys. :( Finished off the night with speech from each ex-seniors. When the night is officially over, almost everybody ended with tears. And i.. trying to control the tears. Telling myself to be strong, and i made it! :D Left the hotel around 12 am, my mum waited for a long time. Then, went home, online for awhile, quick bath, then off to bed. So, that's how my day ended. And guess what, YOU were the last person i think before i go to my dreamland. Thought the plan was working, and now i guess, it's not. *grin*

Your love once touched my heart.

I've once believed every "I LOVE YOU" you've told me. I once trusted you that you'll trust me. I've once gave you my heart, because i thought you'll take a good care of it. But all of these, was just my imagination. I fall for you too easily and now, it's extremely hard for me to climb back up from the deep hole in your heart. Now, i'm trying really hard to get out from that hole and move on. Keep telling myself that i can live without YOU. That you're NOTHING to me anymore, that i need to stop myself from loving YOU. All of these may sound easy, but somehow, there's a part of me, stopping me from doing all these. I wonder, how long will it takes for me to let you go, to make myself believe that this love isn't true and it will not last. I should be happy of my desicion. I should be happy, because this is what i'm asking for. But i don't know why my heart hurts! Am i still in love with you extremely? Will i ever succeed to climb back up and move on to my own way? Will we ever have our chance back? Questions is flooding in my mind! Waiting for answers! Waiting for this LOVE to go so i wouldn't concern bout you anymore. So i wouldn't get hurt anymore! I've deleted EVERYTHING bout me and you, hope that will help me to let go of you. But there's one thing i'll never forget and will NEVER delete, those are OUR memories. Memories are the only thing i could not delete between me and you, because all these memories, will not fade away. They wouldn't let me delete them from my mind! But speaking of OUR memories, sometimes, when i think bout it, it does put a smile on my face. Sometimes, i would instantly have a bit of my mood back. I guess those memories wouldn't wanna go away, because they know that you mean a lot to me, once. And i would not have that same feeling again. You're someone i'll NEVER forget, though everytime i think bout you, my heart hurts. I know you may not be reading my blog anymore, due to i removed you, i still wanna say "I LOVE YOU!". Honestly, i don't even know why i could fall for you so deep! When i first met you, i never thought you will mean so much to me. I thought you will be just be one of my friends. Never thought we'll have something and it's been more than a year. And now, it's all OVER! Officially OVER! But to tell the truth, i still have deep feelings for YOU, still desperately IN LOVE with you! Guess it's because more than one year of relationship, isn't that easy to let go. Just now online-ing at Facebook, saw you online, and pretending not to give a damn thing bout it. Trying not to think too much. And guess what? You're the one whose made my day. You came and chat with me, and i was surprised, of course! We chat like normal. Chat bout quite a lot of stuffs, and i was non-stop smiling and laughing! I guess you don't know that. Anyways, suddenly you offline, i was quite dissapointed, but some part of me, was happy, was really feeling great! Then, i was wondering.. "are we still friends?". I really don't know. Didn't really have the courage to ask you. But i'm glad that though we're not together anymore, we're still talking through internet, right? You still ask me "how are you?". Don't wanna say you still care for me. Maybe you're just being.. nice? Haha. Though i'm depressed in the inside, but my face will appeared a smile, just to let everybody know, even myself, that i'm totally fine without him. That i can move on, after what i've gone through. But if follow the fact, this is not really the fact. Well, have to thank my friends for being there for me. For showing me their care, for supporting me and giving me advices when i needed it. They've been making me happy since they know that after what happened, i'm depressed. But my dear friends, dun worry! It's time to say "Goodbye!" to all the repeating sadness that i've been through. Time to build a strong bridge, so that i can walk on it safely across. Thank you guys! For being there for me! :D

Don't you remember, forever?

Kayy, finally back to blogging! Yeaa, i know i've abandoned my blog for quite a long time. Sorry guys. Having a lottt of problems to solve lately. Those problems are still here, and i wonder how to solve it and when it will be solved. *sigh* Anyways, like i've said, my holidays were just onlinee, SLEEP, eaatt, TV... eat, online, St. John's annual dinner performance.. thingy. *tired* Yea, i know it sounds boring. Totally boringg! St. John annual dinner is this saturday, on the 18th and practically, i still haven't decide which dress to wear. *headache* And.. well, the performance. Let's just say that i'm speechless bout it, not because it's not good, it is good, better than last year performance. We've been thinking and remake the story again and again andd.. AGAIN. And now, finally finish! Supposingly, now we're having our practice but due to i have no transport, so i can't go and i'm stuck at home, nothing to do. So, decide to blog! Just to let you know, this post is just a crap, and what i mean crap, is really CRAP! Since my holiday is BORING, nothing much to say about. Well, let's start with the FIRST day HE went.. holiday. Something happened before that and i don't exactly know how he feels bout it. Angry, i guess. And left me with few tears. Then, that day, the first day he go with his erm.. 'friends' and family, i was depressed of course, not because he go holiday but is after what happened. Keep blaming myself, but they say that i shouldn't. Still figuring out why. Skip_____ Kay, as i was saying, that day i went for a shopping at Sungei Wang, your UN-favourite place. Purpose was finding my annual dinner's dress, but ended up, mygawdd! Clothes and shoes. HAHAA! We went there was not for that purpose though, but still, we can't resist, so.. well, bought a little too much. *giggle* Then, then, thought of going Times Square, but we spend almost whole day at Sungei Wang, so not enough time to go TS. And thought on the way back, stop by Leisure Mall to buy school stuffs, but cancel that too. Because we're exhausted! And my leg are hurting so badly! Blisters on both sides of my toe. Me and my sis just fell asleep in the car as soon as we got in. And of course, cam-whore is a MUST-TO-DO that day. *love how the sun shines on MEE! :D *last picture of the day. :) As days passed, i'm still having my mood, up and down. I'll still shed a tear every once in awhile. Then, went for another shopping at Leisure Mall on the 11th. Purpose, buy school stuffs! And i bought another new shoe. LMAO! And new jeans and a T-shirt! And the others are school stuffs. :) Anddd.... CAM-WHORE! *play play with my hair, because i'm super boring! ;D *lovee this picture! The heart is specially for SOMEONE! -shh- xD *last picture of the day. :) Meanwhile, my sis bought a new bag and i haven't! But i bought a PILE of revision books and stationeries. Gonna start my study soon. ;) *my sis new bag. I want this first, but she keep on begging she want this, so i 'dai fong' give her. -perasan- xD Nevermind, i'll find a better bag than hers! :P

Thank you to your dear PICTURE for making my day. Though i can see no smile in it, but i find it hillarious as soon as i saw it. *laughing*

Can you feel my heartbeat once more? ♥

My dear blog, sorry for abandoning you again. I don't meant to. My holiday is just PLAIN BORING! Nothing else better to do other than online, eat, sleep and watch TV. Well, add some exercise. Don't know why suddenly so into exercise nowadays. Maybe just scared i'll gain weight this holiday. OMG! HAHAA! xD Well, this has been the most 'no mood' holiday. Never really thought it'll become like THIS! Haizz~ should i feel happy? Sad? Angry? Can't really tell what i'm exactly feeling now. It's like i feel like i wanna punch somebody! Well, which i don't even dare to do. HAHA! *sigh* What can i do? What is really on your mind? What are you REALLY thinking bout? What do you really WANT from me? I need answers! But i guess i'm just gonna have to ask you, not you initiatively give me answers. Mann, i desperately need YOU this instant! And i mean RIGHT NOW! Right this MOMENT! Aarghh~ never knew i needed somebody this desperately. :( Today is already.......... 3rd of December! Ohh man! It's December already? Means PMR is getting nearer and nearer! Now i know how those past years PMR candidates felt like. Man, PMR is like in less than a year! And have i studied enough? I guess that will be a NO. I'm gonna work my best in this year! Not MY best, is THE best! Gonna focus 100% in PMR and maybe.. YOU are not gonna be in my number 1 this year. HAHAA! *but remember, you're number ONE in my heart. :) Books gonna piled up on my study table day by day and i'm gonna stick my ass on the chair. I dun wanna fail this year. I wanna be the best among the best! Woww, i've never been this high-spirited before. Anyways, get straight A's in my PMR and also every exams i'm gonna take next year. Please, HELP ME! *finger crossed* So, due to that, less online. Of course. So, that means my blog is gonna be dead for some time. I will update something once awhile though. How's my life and studies going. :) Okeyy, that's all for now! The time is already really late and i think i should be off to bed now. Goodnight guys! ♥ -signing off- I LOVE YOU! ♥♥